FLYNN staggered home very late after celebrating St Patrick's Day with his buddy, Paddy.
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary, and tiptoed quietly to the stairs, but he misjudged the bottom step.
Landing heavily on his rump, a whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke.
Stifling a cry of pain Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He found some Band-Aids and, using the mirror, began sticking them on each cut as best he could.
In the morning, Flynn woke up to his wife Mary staring at him from across the room.
"You were drunk again last night weren't you?" she asked.
"Why do you say such a mean thing?" Flynn replied.
"Well, it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs ...
It could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, or it could be your bloodshot eyes," Mary said.
But mostly ... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
Missing your wife, sir?
AN Irishman was driving home on St Patrick's Day a bit under the weather when he was pulled over by a cop.
"Do you realise your wife fell out of the car three streets back?" the policeman said.
"Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf."
