A PUNTER with a stutter rushed up to the bookmaker after the fifth race at Moe and said, "I bbb ... backed a fff ... five ttt ... "
The impatient bookie interrupted and said, "Look mate, there was no five-to-one winner in that race so buzz off."
Not to be deterred, the punter tried again. "Bbb ... but I bbb ... backed a fff ... five ... "
The bookie was getting hot under the collar but the punter persisted.
When the bookie could take no more, he pulled a $50 note out of his bag, gave it to the punter and said, "Look mate, you didn't back a winner, but take this and bugger off and stop annoying me."
The punter accepted the note rather reluctantly and, as he left the bookies' area, met a mate who asked him how he was going.
"Not bbb ... bad. I just met a bbb ... bloody ggg ... good bbb ... bookie," he said.
"I tried to ttt ... tell him I backed me fff ... five tonne ttt ... truck into his MMM ... Mercedes and he gave me fff ... fifty bucks."
A man went to the movies to see a re-run of Pride and Prejudice and was surprised to see a large dog sitting next to a woman in front of him.
What was even more surprising was that the dog seemed to follow the story.
It sat with ears pricked, wagging its tail at the happy parts and sat downcast with bowed head during the emotionally intense parts of the story.
At the end of the movie, the man couldn't contain his curiosity and, as the audience filed out, he leant over and said to the woman, "Madam, I couldn't help but notice your dog during the movie.
"He seemed to understand the story and really enjoy it. It was amazing."
"Yes," replied the woman. "I was amazed too. He really hated the book."
