TUCKED away in Rokeby lies the purveyor of a globally recognised brand, writes ANDREW MOLE.
I'll bet there's one in your local. In fact, in every local.
That mild, even average, achiever with the smart alec response to polite inquiry.
"Oh, there's an art to it, mate."
Well, as it turns out, when it comes to pubs, and art, there is.
An art to it. Work with me here.
And no one is more artistic than Rokeby's Glenn Joyner.
As if Rokeby is not sufficiently tucked away in the depths of West Gippsland, Glenn's business - not surprisingly called Pub Art - is hidden even deeper. Off the main strip, the only giveaway is a smallish sign on the front gate.
Not even the small, classically bucolic weatherboard office is any indication of what lies within.
Because our man Glenn is the official Australian licensee of Jack Daniel's pub art.
Which is handmade, from the richest of timbers, by craftsmen.
None of that plastic tat. These are hand-carved bars, barrels, dispensers, dazzling mirrors (also handpainted with 23 carat gold leaf), "family of brands" bar risers and even pool table felts.
Melburnians can drift into the Harp of Erin at Kew and be prepared to be gobsmacked at the work done there.
"I hate all this modern stuff with a very short use-by date, or the crap imported from mass-production factories overseas," Glenn says.
"Won't have it anywhere near our factory, won't have it in my house."
The factory is another revelation. Set out of sight down a slope behind the office, it is huge, with 12 full-time staff pumping out the work.
Glenn is not only the largest employer in Rokeby, he is the hamlet's only employer.
The only other sign of commercial activity in the district is a phonebox.
"I have been with Jack Daniel's for the past 10 years, and Jim Beam for the decade before that," Glenn says.
"I was in Tennessee last June for a major brand conference and expected to see some really exciting stuff and, in the end, I have never been so disgusted at what people had on offer.
"When I was with Jim Beam, their growth was in eastern Europe.
"I am the only bloke I know who has been to Bulgaria three times - that was an experience, I can tell you."
So good is the work coming out of Pub Art, it is the only Jack Daniel's licensee to have carte blanche to produce whatever it wants.
Unfortunately, no matter how much it produces, it simply cannot keep up with demand.
The company has already warned Glenn and his dirty dozen (well, they were all covered in sawdust) they will be flat out for the rest of this year with new products, and installations at assorted locations.
So, obviously, he will be planning the employment of more staff and the expansion of his premises? Wrong.
"I have had enough of that," he says. "We do only what we want and, after that, we have lives to lead.
"That's part of the beauty of being in this part of Gippsland. It is a great location on the Tarago River, a fabulous setting and a brilliant local community. Why bother getting bigger, or moving?"
Being the golden boys of Jack Daniel's has not curtailed Pub Art's creativity.
In a deal with the Freedman family, of racing fame, they set about a restoration of a pub in Little Collins Street, which was to be called The Shank's Pony.
"Before we had hardly started, the Freedmans rang up to say they had accepted an offer from the Bridie O'Reilly's chain and sold the pub. They never got to sell a single beer," Glenn says with a laugh.
"So, in the end, we did Victoria's first Bridie O'Reilly's."
Glenn is a sign writer by trade, and abhors the domination of computer-cut writing on windows, mirrors and glasswork.
He can still handpaint most fonts with precision, and loves nothing more than the challenge of producing intricate artwork for a massive pub mirror.
But, despite the urging of the Americans, and the lure of money and a free rein on production to move to downtown Tennessee, Glenn's not going anywhere.
He and his team are happy being not just the big fish in the very small Rokeby pond, but the only fish.
