FARMER John was in the egg business.
He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 10 roosters to fertilise the eggs.
He kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so John bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.
From that day on, John could sit on his porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
John's favourite rooster, Old Butch, was a fine specimen, but on one particular morning, John noticed Old Butch's bell hadn't rung once.
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To John's amazement, Old Butch had his bell in his beak so it wouldn't ring.
He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of Old Butch, he entered him in the local country show.
Old Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges, who awarded him the "No Bell Piece Prize" and the "PulletSurprise" as well.
A BOY comes home from school and tells his mother he has been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the boy's mother, "What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the farmer husband!"
The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."