NOW misogyny has a new meaning, XAVIER DUFF offers his own suggestions for the Macquarie Dictionary

Good to see the Macquarie Dictionary people have given that nasty word misogyny a makeover.

It really has had a bad press and you've got to feel sorry for it hanging out with all those other negative mis words like miser and misfit and miseryguts.

But why stop there?

There's heaps of other words with a bad reputation or which are just downright depressing. Why not make the world a better place and eliminate some horrible events like natural disasters - just by putting a more positive spin on their meanings?

Here's some to start with:

Drought - extended run of really good beach days.

Flood - water storage-filling opportunity.

Cyclone - renewable energy-generation opportunity.

Bushfire - large-scale natural prescribed burning; also unplanned planned-burning opportunity.

Meanwhile various other words are in need of greater clarification in the light of developments in rural Australia this year.

Farm - body of land owned by banks for the sole purpose of growing cheap food.

Farming - form of gambling in which farmer bets his entire year's income on a drought, flood, cyclone or bushfire not occurring during the year; see also, expensive hobby.

Farmer - type of punter; see also, optimist.

Fracking - mining process of extracting mineral wealth from under the feet of farmers without having to dig for it; also descriptive adjective as in what a fracking mess.

Red tape - government process of extracting wealth from farmers without having to dig for it; see also, councils and rates.

Councils - de facto government organisation providing government services not funded by government.

Rates - a means of funding councils in which the most money is collected from those who use its services least.

There will also be a completely new entry to the next edition of the Macquarie.

Fevola/fev - as in to fev or let's do a fev, the act of boosting attendances at country footy games by clubs recruiting AFL cast-offs in the twilight of their careers; see also, akers and hall.

Finally, a clarification of the most misunderstood term of the year.

Big cat - large beast of indeterminate species seen only after dark on country roads, usually about an hour after pub closing; see also, pink elephant.

  • Xavier Duff is a senior Weekly Times reporter