A COUPLE went to the local show where there was a fellow offering joy rides in an old biplane.
The pilot said he could do a basic joy ride or a special aerobatic display with loop the loops, barrel rolls and a dive, but it would cost an extra $50.
"Well, we like a bit of adventure, but the aerobatics sounds a bit steep for us," said the husband.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for three minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay the $50."
The couple thought this was a pretty good deal and agreed. They jumped in and experienced a wild ride and never uttered a sound.
After they landed, the pilot said to the husband, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so," said the husband. "But I gotta tell ya, it took all my strength not to scream when my wife fell out."
GREENGROCER was dismayed when a new greengrocer opened next door and erected a huge sign that read "Best Deals".
He was horrified when yet another greengrocer opened on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading "Lowest Prices".
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop that read "Main Entrance".