MY wife has been poring over the rural property pages searching for our dream property as we prepare for a tree change.
From the descriptions, every property sounds amazing and she falls in love with them. I'm not sure she really understands what we could be buying.
Yes, it does help if you are fluent in real estate-speak. It's important to be able to translate it into proper English to get the real picture, so here is my guide to rural real estate lingo.
Lifestyle property - small farm that needs the same amount of equipment and time to run as a large farm but without the income.
Low maintenance - no fences, no sheds, no yards, no house.
Period home with original features - needs restumping, reroofing rewiring and replastering, after you have emptied it of hay.
Perfect for organic farming - untouched by fertiliser or weed killer for years.
Sustainable living - no mains power.
Shearers' quarters that could be transformed into accommodation - see period home.
Well-drained soils - always dry.
Heavy clay soils - always water-logged.
Permanent water - has a swamp.
Comes with bore - the bloke next door will talk the leg off an iron pot.
Fantastic views - so hilly your livestock will need two legs shorter than the other two to stay upright.
Easy commuting distance to Melbourne - if you have a pilot's licence.
No work to be done - if you're like the previous owner who didn't do any either.