A COUPLE were driving from Sydney to Queensland and after 11 hours on the road decided to have a break.

They booked into a nice hotel on the Gold Coast to have a rest for a few hours before moving on.

On leaving they were handed a bill for $550.

"That's outrageous just for a few hours stay," the husband said.

"Well we have an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a huge conference centre for guests to use," the manager replied.

"But we didn't use them," the husband said.

"'Well, they are here, and you could have," said the manager.

The manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the famous international floor shows on offer.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the manager replied.

Whatever amenity the manager mentioned, the husband replied that they didn't use any of them.

The manager was unmoved and so the man gave in and asked his wife to write a cheque.

When she handed it over the manager frowned.

"But this is for $50," he said.

"Yes, I charged you $500 for sleeping with me," the wife said.

"But I didn't," the manager spluttered.

"Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have."

Snap shot

A BLOKE was standing in a long line waiting to get his photo taken for his new driver's licence.

The line inched along for almost an hour until he finally got to have his picture taken.

But he wasn't happy with the result and complained to the clerk doing the paperwork.

"I was standing in line so long, I look as mad as hell."

"Don't worry," the clerk said. "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."