I'M 72 and I like to sit quietly for the lunch hour and watch the TV.
But the thing that gets my knickers in a knot is being bombarded with those stupid funeral ads, most times four in a row.
I feel I'm breaking the law by staying alive. Someone is out there making loads of money by scaring old codgers like me.
Yes, it's just what we need at our advanced age isn't it - to be reminded of our mortality.
But what really annoys me is not that we soon might kick the bucket but that we've got to pay for it.
Those ads are really trying to sign you up for a pre-paid funeral.
And there's nothing I hate more than paying for something I'm not going to be around to enjoy.
I can see why they do it though. I mean it's hard enough getting money out of some people when their alive, let alone when they're six feet under.
I mean what can they do if someone hasn't coughed up? Repossess the coffin?
And they work on your fears that your family might skimp on the final farewell - you know buying the cardboard casket instead of the gold plated one.
I couldn't care less myself. I'm going for cremation because it's way cheaper. I've even written my epitaph:
"With many regrets and a lot of sadness, It's time to farewell dear old Agnes.
Ever the miser, she lies here happy, In a piece of pottery she won in a lottery".
So don't let them scare you George. When the funeral ads come on just hit the mute button.