A MAN had just taken delivery of his dream car, the latest Mercedes Benz roadster.
After days of nagging from his young son, he reluctantly allowed him to take the car for a spin.
An hour later the son came back into the drive - on foot and limping.
"Dad I've got some good news and some bad news about the car. What would you like to hear first?"
His heart sinking, the father asked for the good news first.
"The air bags work really well."
A MAN fell asleep on the beach and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his thighs. He went to the hospital and was admitted with second-degree burns.
Because his skin was starting to blister and he was in severe pain, the doctor prescribed continuous saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra every four hours.
The nurse, who was astounded, asked, "What good will the Viagra do for his sunburn?"
"It won't do anything for his sunburn," the doctor replied, "but it will keep the sheets off his legs."
HARRY asks his wife, Mary, what gift she wants to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary.
"Would you like a new Gucci handbag?" he asks.
"Not really," says Mary.
"Well how about a new sports car?" says Harry.
"No," she responds.
"What about a holiday house on the coast?" he suggests.
"No thanks," she says.
Frustrated he finally asks, "Well, what would you like for your anniversary?"
"Harry, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary.
Harry thinks for a moment and replies, "Sorry dear, I wasn't planning to spend that much."